5 times Emily wanted to tell Paige she loved her and 1 time she did
by NotWriteInTheHead
Summary: She can't say it. Not out loud. Because she knows if she says it out loud, the universe will know she's happy. That Paige makes her happy. And they'll take Paige away from her. And Emily knows she won't be able to handle that happening. Not again. And not to Paige. Call it superstition or simple stupidity. But Emily just can't take that chance.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Pretty Little Liars, but the ones who do, frustrate the crap out of me.

* * *

**Five times Emily wanted to tell Paige she loved her and one time she did.**

* * *

**One.**

It's not an especially special day. It's not even a particularly extravagant moment. Or a moment at all really. It was just your average Saturday. The better part of which they'd spent (not) watching movies and (not) eating junk food. Simply being together. Touching. Kissing. Just b_eing._

They hadn't been able to spend all that much time together lately, what with school and work and a million other things that seem to take precedence over their relationship at the moment. It wasn't anything intentional, they were just busy. Really busy. Too busy. So much so that Emily almost forgot how much she missed her girlfriend.

Almost.

But as it always is with Paige, she just knew. And any time Emily came remotely close to forgetting how much she missed her girl, Paige would call her '_I missed you' _or text her _'Come. Over. Now.' _And Emily would come.

And then she'd remember.

How their hands seem to fit together. Perfectly. How Paige's body seem to wrap around her own in a way that left no space between them. Literally or otherwise. How Paige would smirk into any (every) kiss Emily initiated. Like she knew exactly what she did to Emily. How Paige smelt. A smell that belonged wholly and completely to Paige, one that was so intoxicating Emily remembers that she's kind of glad they haven't spent so much time together because she wouldn't be able to concentrate with _ that _invading her senses.

And this particular day isn't any different. Except it is. Because every time Paige smiles at her. Or whenever Paige kisses her. Or when Emily shivers and Paige pauses the movie, running up the stairs and coming back with her old, worn down sweater she knew Emily loved so much, that's when Emily wants to say it. Shout it even.

_I love you. I love you so much._

But she can't say it. Not out loud. Because she knows if she says it out loud, the universe will know she's happy. That Paige makes her happy. And they'll take Paige away from her. And Emily knows she won't be able to handle that happening. Not again. And not to Paige. Call it superstition or simple stupidity. But Emily just can't take that chance. She can't lose Paige. And anytime she's said those three words, whoever they were directed at, were gone soon after. So she ignores it. She's starting to get a headache, but Paige is still here, so she doesn't care.

"Em?"

"Yeah?" Emily asks, eyes not leaving the TV. _Don't say it. Don't say it._

"Are you okay?"

Emily turns at that. The concern in her girlfriend's voice too much to ignore. "I'm fine. Why?" She clears her throat. _Don't do it. Don't do it._

"Are you sure?"

Emily nods. Smiles. "I'm fine." She kisses Paige, more for herself, to occupy her mouth with anything that weren't _those words_, than for Paige.

Paige pulls away from her after a few moments. Just looks at her like she knows Emily is lying, which she probably does, but she doesn't say anything. Just nods and offers her one more kiss before going back to the movie.

And Emily may not be able to say it, but she suddenly needs Paige to know that she really, really wishes she could. Because Paige knows she's lying, but didn't push. Because Paige lets a lot of things go, simply because she knows Emily will tell her, eventually, if she needs to know. Because Paige deserves to hear it.

It takes her a few minutes to muster up the courage though and by the time she's ready, Paige is actually watching the movie. Enjoying it even, not hearing Emily the first few times she says her name.

"Paige?" Emily says again, her voice much louder this time.

Paige offers her a distracted "hmm" and a quick glance, before turning back to the movie.

"You know that I care about you, right?"

"Uh huh." Paige nods.

Emily grabs one of Paige's hands. "A lot." Emily squeezes it when her girlfriend's eyes are still glued to the TV. She tries to hide the smile when it works.

"Yeah." Paige turns the TV off and turns her body towards Emily's. "Em, what's going on? What's this about?"

And Emily is nervous again. She looks down because otherwise she'd have to look at Paige. "I just... I want... I..." She stops and tries to formulate her thoughts, figure out what she wants to say, so she doesn't sound even more like an idiot.

Paige stays quiet the whole time. Just moves her thumb back and forth over Emily's hand. Waits.

The quieter it seems to get, the easier it is for Emily to think. She appreciates the silence and the reason for it. Paige knows when to help (mostly) and when to just wait Emily out (again...mostly).

Eventually, Emily isn't exactly sure how long, she clears her throat and meets Paige's eyes again. "I was in love with Alison," she shakes her head, "or as love as I could be at that age."

Paige pulls her hand away, shakes her head. "Em, whatever it is you're doing, you don't have to." She let's out a quiet, nervous laugh. "In fact, I think I'd prefer it if you didn't."

Emily grabs her hand again, holds it in between both of hers. "I need to."

Paige nods, averts her eyes. Says, "okay."

"I loved Alison...and she died."

Paige takes a long, loud breathe. Then finally looks back at Emily.

Emily continues. "And I loved Maya. I _told _Maya. And she died."

Paige moves the hair out of Emily's eyes, leaves her hand there. Nods again.

Emily leans into Paige's hand. "So you can see why I'd be a little...hesitant on saying it again." Emily straightens her head, moves her hands to Paige's face, one hand caressing her cheek, the other tracing the scar right above her eye. "I mean you...understand, right?"

Paige grabs onto one of Emily's wrists. "Em, don't worry about it."

"I'm not worried," Emily kisses her. "I just need you to know that just because I can't say it, that doesn't mean I don't feel it," she kisses her again. "Because I do."

Paige smiles. "I know."

"A lot." Like love. Emily hopes she hears it.

Paige's smile widens. "I know."

"Okay," Emily says hesitantly. She isn't sure what she was expecting, but she's sure it wasn't just a smile.

"Okay," Paige kisses her head. "Are we done with all this serious stuff now?"

Emily frowns at the joking tone. Nods anyway.

About fifteen minutes later Paige pauses the movie. Fifteen minutes of Emily cursing _Paige_ for her apparent lack of understanding. Fifteen minutes of Emily cursing _herself_ for not being able to just say it.

"Em?"

"Hmm...?" Emily asks, not really paying attention, still deep in thought.

When it's silent for a little too long, Emily turns to Paige.

"Can _I_ say it?"

It takes Emily a moment to realize what it is Paige is asking. A gigantic smile takes over her face when she finally does. "Yes."

Paige nods. "Okay." She turns back to the TV. Presses play.

Emily is dumbfounded. She loudly clears her throat, trying to give Paige a sign.

"Do you want me to get you something to drink?"

Emily scowls. "No."

"Then why-"

Emily throws her hands up. "Aren't you going to say it?"

Paige's eyes widen. "What? Right now?"

"Why not?"

"I don't know." Paige looks around the room. "It's not really romantic."

Emily follows Paige's line of sight, trying to see what she's looking at, if anything. "Are the words not enough?"

Paige shrugs. "I don't know. I've never told anyone I loved them before. At least not anyone who aren't my parents."

"It's enough," Emily says evenly.

"Um, okay," Paige smirks. "Love you," she says halfheartedly, punching Emily's shoulder lightly.

Emily's mouth opens in shock. "Paige."

"What?" Paige laughs.

"Really?"

"You know for someone who can't say it, you sure are picky on how you want to hear it."

"Just forget it," Emily snatches the remote away from Paige, her body slumping against the couch and presses play.

"Em?"

"What?"

"I love you."

* * *

**Two.**

"Paige, it's eight in the morning?" Emily growls out, as she rubs at her eyes with the heel of her hand.

If it was any other time of the day, seeing Paige is always a good thing. But when her girlfriend is the culprit behind the door bell scaring her awake so early in the morning, it's not the happiest of surprises.

She was not a morning person, neither was Hanna, who pushed her off the bed, screaming at her to 'stop the thing!'

"I know, I'm sorry. I was out on my run and I saw these."

Emily drops her hand and slowly opens her eyes. Paige is standing in front of her, cheeks flushed, hair tied in a messy bun, and her running gear clinging to the sweaty mess that was her body. Bringing it all together was a beautiful bouquet of pink Lilies held in Paige's outstretched hand.

Just for fun, Emily makes a show of slowly opening Paige's hand, finger by finger, before she takes a hold of the flowers. She brings them to her nose, enjoying that ever present smell of fresh flowers as she smiles into them.

She quirks an eyebrow at a now grinning Paige. "You were out on your run and you just so happen to see an intricately wrapped bouquet of Lilies lying around?"

Paige's grin falters. "Well, no. When I was done with my run I went to The Brew to get coffee..." she trails off, thrusting a drink carrier, holding two coffee cups in her hand. "The one on the left," she nods her head.

Emily is sure that if her smile gets any bigger, it could very well break her face. The thought doesn't stop her from doing so though, as she grabs the coffee from her entirely too sweet girlfriend's hands.

"...there was a flower shop right next to it and I figured why not."

Emily furrows her brows, thinking. "There isn't a flower shop anywhere near The Brew, Paige."

Paige opens her mouth, only to close it a second later. She looks away, rubbing at the back of her neck. "Okay, so maybe it wasn't _right next to it, _but I-" She stops, turning back and glaring at Emily. "What is with the third degree? Can't you just take the flowers and thank me like any normal girlfriend would?"

Emily tries to hide her laugh, but with both her hands occupied, she's not very successful. "I'm sorry," she says, giving Paige a quick peck, hoping to soothe the embarrassed looking girl. "Thank you, they're beautiful. I just - " She stops, a horrifying thought coming to mind. "What exactly is today?"

"Sunday. Why?"

"Is it some kind of _special_ day?" Emily mentally checks off all important dates she can remember. Both the ones Paige acknowledges, like their first kiss and the ones Paige doesn't, like their _actual_ first kiss. She goes through any particularly special days she marked off for herself, like their first picnic or when they finally went to the Katy Perry concert. She thinks and thinks and thinks, but comes up empty as to why Paige would find this day special enough for a bouquet.

Paige frowns. "I don't think so."

Emily searches her brain one last time, only to come up empty again. She bites her lip, suddenly nervous. "So...you just went for a run and randomly decided, for no apparent reason, on a not at all special Sunday morning, that you wanted to get me flowers?"

"Well...yeah."

Emily lets out a relieved breath. "Why?"

Paige shrugs. "Just because."

"Just because?"

Paige nods, stopping mid-way, her eyes going wide. "Why? Is it weird? I'm being weird, aren't I?"

Emily quickly shakes her head. "No, you're not weird." With the flowers and a still hot coffee in her hands and with much effort, she wraps her arms around Paige's waist. "You are a very sweet," she kisses her lips lightly, "and thoughtful girlfriend," she finishes, pulling away. "Where have you been all my life?"

"Probably not as far as you think," Paige says.

Emily smirks. "Right, because you have been in love with me forever."

"And beyond," Paige smiles softly, agreeing.

Just as Emily is about to lean in again, she is abruptly pulled away and pushed back into the house.

"God, Paige, flowers?" Hanna throws her arms up. "You ring that stupid door bell this early in the morning and you couldn't even bring a box of donuts?"

"Um...sorry. I thought it was just Emily."

"Yeah, well my mom decided to go with Em's mom. So here I am," Hanna grumbles out, shaking her head.

Emily mouths a 'sorry' to her girlfriend.

"Well, come in already," Hanna pulls at Paige's free arm.

Paige tries and fails to get her arm free. "I actually have to take a shower so..."

"You can take one here and then you're making us breakfast," Hanna says, kicking the door shut.

"But-"

Hanna drops her hand and spins around, swiftly grabbing the cup still in the carrier. "Is there cream in this?"

Paige shakes her head.

Hanna rolls her eyes. "Of course not. What are you waiting for? You know where the shower is." She pushes Paige a step up the stairs and turns around calling for Emily.

"And beyond, remember?" Emily reminds Paige.

"Right," Paige rolls her eyes, before jogging up the stairs.

* * *

**Three.**

"So, how long is Paige going to be gone?" Hanna asks her, as they walk down the hallway to her locker.

Emily shrugs. "I'm not sure, a few days."

"You didn't ask?"

"Her grandmother is in the hospital, I didn't really think it'd be appropriate to ask. What if something happens?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Hanna purses her lips together, "well, you're taking it well. Considering..."

"Considering what?"

"Considering the girl you're in love with and who hasn't left your side in...I don't even know how long, left without saying goodbye and won't be coming back for..._you_ don't even know how long."

Emily sighs. She's actually not doing well at all. She knows why Paige had to go (her grandmother got sick), why she couldn't say goodbye (it was unexpected), but it still didn't like it and she already misses her.

"What can I do Hanna?" She asks, as they stop in front of her locker.

Hanna leans on the locker next to hers, twirling her hair around her finger nonchalantly. "I don't know. I just thought you'd be more sad. Or mad. Or something."

"Well, I'm not," she huffs. Now what was her locker combination, again.

Hanna is quiet next to her. Stays that way the second and third and fourth time Emily get's the combination wrong. Emily blows out a puff of air, feels Hanna's eyes burning the side of her head, drops the lock and turns to look at her, Hanna smiling widely back at her.

Emily glares at her. "What are you smiling about?"

Hanna looks down, her dimples still showing. "Nothing."

"Hey guys." Aria bumps Hanna's shoulder, making the still smiling blonde look up in acknowledgment.

"What going on?" Spencer sidles up next to Emily.

"Nothing," Emily says, through gritted teeth, eyes never leaving Hanna's.

"It doesn't-"

"Do any of you know my locker combination? For some reason I can't remember it?" Emily cuts Aria off.

"Um, yeah," Spencer looks between Emily and Hanna. "I got it, Em."

Emily moves out of Spencer's way and folds her arms, still annoyed, and waits.

"Um...Em?"

"Just let it go, Aria."

"No, your locker. Look."

Emily doesn't want to, but she needs her books, so she follows Aria's little arm pointed at her locker and gasps. There's a large white bear taking up all the room in her locker, a single white rose lying against it, and a little white envelope laying in front with her name written on it.

"What is..." Emily trails off, mouth hanging open, as Spencer plucks the card out of Emily's locker and hands it to her.

Emily ignores her friends prying eyes and opens the card.

_Sorry. I'll be back in no time. I love you – Paige_

Emily smiles and wonders when and how and god she loves Paige too and then suddenly Hanna's grin makes a little sense.

She looks at her friend...who apparently forgot how to stop smiling. "Hanna, did you -"

Hanna rolls her eyes. "Duh, like she would call Spencer or Aria..." she trails off looking at an offended Aria, before shaking her head and continuing. "Of course I helped."

"How did-"

"She set it all up, paid for everything and all that, she just asked me to put it in there."

"But you were with me all morning."

"That's what long haired boyfriends are for."

Emily can only nod.

"That's so sweet," Aria gushes.

"I tried to rile you up so it'd be sweeter, but-"

"I was riled up enough, trust me."

"If you say so."

"This is all very...cute," Spencer says, trying to hide her grimace, "but we're gonna be late."

"Right," Emily turns back to her locker to get her books, frowning when she sees nothing behind the bear. "Han?"

"Hmm?"

"Where are my books?"

* * *

**Four.**

One week. Three days. Sixteen hours.

That was how long it's been since she last heard from her dad. Usually, she wouldn't think anything of it. She knows her dad isn't in Texas for fun and he's busy and there's been times when they didn't hear from him for a months at a time. But this time is different.

Emily has been so preoccupied with school and her friends and Paige that she didn't even know it'd been that long, not until her mom came down for breakfast with red, puffy eyes and gave Emily some rushed out excuse about having an errand to run, so she didn't have time for breakfast and she'd be back soon.

This coming from the woman who lectures her way too often about being present for three square meals, at home, at the dining table. That it was important for them to spend time together, especially while her father was away. And Emily knew something was wrong. And when she grabbed her moms arm, the woman broke down immediately.

Emily couldn't understand everything her mother was said, but she got the gist of it. There was an accident in Texas near the base her dad was stationed at. That it probably wasn't a big deal, but she hadn't heard from him in over a week. And then she promptly wiped her face, told Emily everything was okay and that she'd be back later, leaving Emily alone in the kitchen.

In seventeen years, Emily can count on one hand the amount of times she's seen her mother breakdown. Though the reasons varied, it was always for something serious. So she did a quick search online, found out there was an explosion. Four casualties. All military. It is then, when Emily sits down and actually counts out exactly how many days it's been since she last spoke to her father.

One week. Three days. Sixteen hours.

It was too long. Her dad always made sure to check in if there was ever anything serious happening on his side, if for nothing else, just to let them know that he was okay. So if he hasn't, there was a pretty good reason as to why.

Emily didn't want to think of what the reason might be then, four hours ago, and she doesn't want to think about what it might be now as she sits on the kitchen floor, her back against the refrigerator and her head in her hands. She was scared and worried and alone and she's not sure she wants to be anymore so she texts Paige.

_I need you here. Please. _

She stays in that spot, doesn't move, doesn't cry, just waits.

She jolts up when she hears the incessant knocking on the front door. She knows it's Paige, but she doesn't have the energy to get up and open the door for her. She opens her mouth to call for her, but shuts it when she hears it open.

"Em?! Emily?!" She hears Paige call out for her, but she finds she's unable to answer her girlfriend's worried shouts. "Emily, where are you?!"

And then Emily sees her, her eyes instantly filled with concern. She sees Paige's body go rigid, instantly alert. Emily watches as her eyes dart around the room, body visibly relaxing before Paige brings her eyes back to her, taking her all in.

"Is everything ok-"

Emily shakes her head, her lip trembling. No, everything isn't okay. She hasn't heard from her dad in over a week and her mom's short 'errand' was pushing on four hours and she is not okay.

Paige doesn't say anything as she slowly makes her way over to Emily, she leans her back against the refrigerator and slides down next to her.

It is when Paige wraps an arm around her back, that for the first time all morning, she breaks down. Everything she managed to keep in comes rushing out in hot tears and loud uncontrollable sobs. All the fears and questions she tried to keep at bay, flooding her mind, making her cry that much more, as she clings to Paige, pulling at her shirt, trying to get as close a possible to the only person who manages to make her feel safe lately. And she just cries.

Paige stays silent, seemingly knowing without being told, that Emily didn't need reassurances right now. She just needed to be held.

After what feels like hours, though Emily doesn't quite know how much time has passed, her tears eventually stop falling and her sobs get softer and softer, until they stop completely.

When Emily feels the kiss at her temple, she lifts her head from where it had been buried on Paige's shoulder, resting her chin there in it's place as she brings her lips to Paige's ear. "My dad hasn't called," she says quietly. "It's been over a week."

Paige squeezes her shoulder, kissing her temple. "He'll call," she says, her voice even and sure.

Emily finds no reason not to believe her.

* * *

**Five.**

Emily bites her lip to keep from smiling. She can feel Paige's eyes on her. _Again._ Emily's already scolded her twice before. It was sweet and charming and completely defeated the purpose of Paige asking her out to see a movie if she wasn't even going to watch it.

Emily keeps her eyes on the screen as she leans into Paige's shoulder, tilting her head toward Paige's as she whispers into her ear. "Do you have any idea what's even going on?"

She feels Paige shake her head, making Emily roll her eyes.

"Then why are we here? I thought you were just as excited to see this as I was?" Emily asks, leaning back to finally meet Paige's eyes. The sparkle she sees in them concerning her.

"You were excited to see this movie, I was excited to take you."

"Paige, that makes no sense. We could have seen something we both wanted to see."

Paige's grin widens as she tilts her head. "Isn't that what we're doing?"

"Just watch the movie," Emily says looking away again, her face warm and a smile firmly on her face.

"You're so much more interesting," Paige whispers into her ear.

Emily's brows furrow, a thought coming to her. "You're not smooth," she says giving Paige a pointed look.

"What?"

"You're not smooth," Emily repeats. "You don't take me to the movies and stare at me the whole time," she turns her body to fully face Paige, the movie now forgotten. She points an accusing finger at her girlfriend. "You don't whisper into my ear...at least not like _that_."

Paige smirks. "So, it's working?"

"To do what exactly?"

Paige shrugs, "I saw it in a movie."

"So, you brought me to see a movie, just so you could try something you saw in _another_ movie?" Emily asks for clarification.

Paige shrugs again. "This one is boring, all they do is run and scream and trip and die. Where's the substance?"

Emily doesn't say anything, just watches as Paige's eyes flick back and forth over her face, then down to her own fidgeting hands, then back up again. Emily's shoulders settle as she thinks back to when they first saw the commercial for this particular movie, Emily was almost giddy, a new horror movie to dissect and fall in love with, while Paige couldn't stop moving and refused to look at the tv, much like she was doing right now. It was the first time she found out that Paige was...

"Scared," Emily half shouts, thankful for the near empty theater, her voice only catching a few stares. "You're scared," Emily repeats, her voice softer, face beaming with realization.

Paige scoffs, shaking her head. "No, I'm not."

"You're a big scaredy cat," she sing-songs, throwing an arm around the back of Paige's neck.

"No, I'm not. I just...don't like all the blood."

Emily wraps her her other arm around Paige's front, interlocking her hands on Paige's shoulder. "So, you're scared?"

Paige rolls her eyes. "I'm not scared."

Emily leans into Paige's ear. "You're a little scared," she whispers, leaning back to grin at Paige, beyond at amused at this point.

Paige sighs, grabbing a hold of Emily's hands. "I may be a _little_ scared. A little."

"You're very cute."

Paige frowns. "Because I'm scared?"

"Because you're scared," Emily nods, laughing.

Paige rolls her eyes, pulling away. "So much love."

"So. Much." Emily agrees.

* * *

_**One.**_

Emily smiles trailing her fingers through a sleeping Paige's hair. It was a long Sunday, the longest she can remember in a while. Between cramming for the surprise test Mona somehow knew about, helping Hanna buy a dress that would unhinge Caleb's jaw when he saw her for the first time in a month, and helping Paige's parents at the annual church picnic, Emily and Paige managed to spend an entire day together...without actually _being_ together.

Sure, there were a couple of quick pecks here and there, a few head nods, lots of sporadic eye conversation, and those two hours when Paige magically disappeared for the entire duration of their shopping trip, leaving Emily alone with a manic Hanna, but there was nothing meaningful. No Emily and Paige moments. There were no stolen, drawn out kisses in the closest corner, no hand squeezes to let her know that 'yeah, this is the worst day, but at least we're spending it together,' not even a single inappropriate text to tide her over.

It seems it was just one of those days, which was fine, Emily could deal with _one day_. The problem was that, as the day wore on Emily realized it wasn't just one of those days, it was a months worth of 'those days' and by the end of it Emily was determined to make up for lost time.

Her determination and the universe didn't quite link up and by the time it was all over and they finally got to spend the last day they had alone with the house to themselves, it was pushing midnight and Paige could barely keep her eyes open to eat, let alone do anything that required actual energy. And that narrowed Emily's list of planned after hours activities down to a movie or going to bed. And while Paige seemed to be sleeping with her eyes open, the days events seem to leave Emily wired and restless, so they compromised, opting to cuddle in Emily's bed, with Emily's choice of a movie to tide them over until they fell asleep.

Paige lasted a whole five minutes, while Emily finished the entirety of Rudy...again, over an hour ago, leaving her blissfully trapped under Paige's half-strewn body. Emily grins, looking down at Paige again. Her arm was starting to fall asleep and she was already growing tired of the stupid Rudy title sequence playing over and over again in the background, but this was about as close to perfect as she could think of.

She scoots her body down the bed in an attempt to bring her face closer to Paige's, knowing exactly what she was going to do, without really knowing why. After a bit of maneuvering and a close call where she almost fell off the bed, Emily finds herself facing the sleeping girl, their noses touching and the warmth of Paige's breath giving her comfort she kind of always feels with Paige.

Emily eyes trail over Paige. She takes in the messy hair and the furrowed brows, the eyes she doesn't need open to see the exhaustion in them and the wide completely not sexy, but all the more adorable mouth hanging open. This real life sleeping beauty made her happy. This complicated, sometimes rash, often emotional, beyond beautiful girl who always puts Emily first, sometimes even before herself, filled Emily with a feeling she can't remember ever feeling before.

Not this much. And _not like this._

Emily's hands move on their own accord, pushing the hair away from Paige's eyes and behind her ear. She traces a finger down the side of Paige's face to her chin, back up the other side, and then uses her full hand to smooth over Paige's eyebrows. She kisses Paige's forehead, her nose, but when Emily finally gets to Paige's lips, she stops. She get's as close to Paige as possible without touching her, resting her head on Paige's pillow.

"I love you, Paige. So much," she stops, kissing Paige's lips and then continues speaking against them. "I can finally tell you."

Thinking Paige was asleep, she's a little startled when a soft smile graces Paige's lips. She settles, smiling as an arm wraps around her back, pulling her impossibly closer.

When Paige's eyes open, they're bright and awake. "I know."

**Done**

* * *

I was in the middle of finishing a break-up fic, and though it's set in the distant future and it's completely amicable and I wrote it with the idea that after a couple of drinks, maybe a few one night stands, and a bad relationship or two that they'd eventually find their way back to each other...yall are a mess lol and I just don't think now is the right time to be posting that. So I'm giving you this fluffy, happy times Paily.

Emily actually saying the words was initially this super cheesy, in the rain type things. I wrote it out and everything and then I got to the end and just deleted it. I felt like it didn't mesh with the overall feel of this fic, which is basically just a bunch of random, everyday moments. So I figured the same should be done with the actual words. It just happened, which also felt more realistic to me. Love is usually gradual, it's not this big 'you saved my life' or 'we're both dying' type things. It just happens. You just feel it. The words just come out. *shrugs*

And don't ask me how Hanna squeezed her way into everything, I have no idea...

(for whatever reason i never got the idea of the five times fic, at least on how to write one, so this might have been as big a failure as that last part of the fic when I got lazy and just rushed to finish it..so apologies on all accounts)


End file.
